Dear French,
my first and eldest
you were the first to join a family
of linguistic uncertainty
you were easy to love;
my link to a nation
that no one expects to be mine
i did not choose you nor you me
and yet (or for that very reason)
you blossomed in your adolescent years
and i cling to you as i cling
to my july 1 birthday
and raised vowels.
—
Dear Japanese,
my problem child
you came to the family
rambunctious and fighting
they told me you were exotic
yet desirable;
the popular girl in school
and so you frightened me
but later i saw you too were just a language
sometimes hurt and abused
and in the end what i loved about you
was not your otherness
but your surprising familiarity.
—
Dear Mandarin,
my neglected baobao
you were always there
although i did not notice
at times i resented you
an unwanted responsibility
that i did not want or choose for myself
but you would not could not leave me
and so you remained by my side
unfed, uncared for and unloved
i hope it’s not too late
for apologies and
new beginnings.
—
Dear English,
my shadow my firstborn
you were always my everything
my sword and my shield
my passport that i waved in people’s faces
when they questioned my identity
you were my ticket to acceptance i thought
so i made you big and strong
but even as you turned out to be
not so impermeable (it is not your fault)
you made room for your new siblings
and for that i thank you
anyway.
(Source: cocorobot)
f f f f f hy
i should not invest in such things
at all
when i’m angry
and unrestrained
i don’t hold back the bite
i wonder if one day
i could cut a man to pieces
with words
(Source: cocorobot)
“The feeling starts from reading words on a computer screen then dissipates all throughout my chest and stomach right down to my toes, and when I lay my head down to rest it spills out my ears on the bed I never made, and I rest in a warm puddle of my own adolescence.” — (via imawo)
(Source: cocorobot)